Today is ass.
And I swear, I had every intention of keeping these speeches positive and funny. But you know what? Fuck it. Grouchy and funny is going to have to do.
It's pouring rain outside, which was inevitable considering today is the first day in about four weeks that I left the house without an umbrella. Super. It's also cold, windy and dark. All my very favourite weather features.
It is so very November out there today that every time I catch a glimpse of outside (not easy from my vantage point of the hallway where I sit here at work - but if I strain to look out of the corner office in front of me, I can get a semi-glimpse at what appears to be outside)I'm immediately reminded of that screaming, dramatic guitar rift from the GnR song. They felt the cold November rain, man. They really felt it.
NO THEY DIDN'T. They live in LA. There is no cold freakin' rain in LA.
Anyhoo, other than right now, November's been ok. Kinda mild. Kinda fun with all of CrowN's b-day celebrations - 31nderful! But today is just ass, plain and simple. Ass enough that I had to break my diet and chow down on a warm, vegetable quiche and I ate the flakey, carb-filled crust and all! Ooooh what a rebel I can be when Mother Nature pushes my buttons.
[I can hear Mother Nature now: "Beaches, you're only hurting yourself, you silly crust-eating weakling."]
Speaking of diets: have ya'll ever been on one? Man, no wonder everyone always fails, they totally suck ass. I swore many times over to myself that I'd never diet. "Oh, I'll never diet," I said, "I'll just work out regularly so that I can eat whatever I want." Then my metabolism figured out my age. Damn that smart metabolism.
Anyway this is a whole other rant -- I'll give it to you in full next time in "Spin, Spin, Sugar."
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