Jagged Little Pill

I'm 30 years old and I've been on the birth control pill for 12 years. That's right, 12 years, you can do the math and I can shock you further by revealing that I was sexually active for a "significant amount" of time before I ever went on the pill.

In fact, I only went on the pill because terrible cramps were getting the better of me and my doctor convinced me that this magical little pill would save me. She was right. The pill did stop my cramps. I can barely remember what it feels like to have have cramps so bad that you vomit.

I was a responsible teenager with a long-term, steady boyfriend who I really cared a lot about and I would probably have opted for birth control pills much earlier had I not been concerned about more than just pregnancy. My parents always drilled in the message that while it wouldn't be great to get knocked up, at least a pregancy wouldn't kill me and there were options. But there were things out there that might actually kill me, and BC pills wouldn't protect me from those.

My parents. So wise.

Anyway, when I finally made the decision to go on the pill, I was convinced that it was the best thing EVER. Sure, I gained 10 lbs. I like to think that I still have those residual lbs kicking around on my ass and thighs and that they will just melt right off as soon as I stop taking the dope. Truth of the matter is, those 10 lbs are probably stored safely on my boobs, and it's the girls that will suffer from lack of hormone control.

Well, gang. We're about to find out. Saturday night I took my last BC pill. At least for a while.

Now, before ya'll start squeeling and sending me baby booties in the mail, please note that I am not trying to get pregnant. I'll say it again in all caps for added effect:

I AM NOT TRYING TO GET PREGANT. NO. NO BABIES. NOT GETTING PREGNANT.

Rather, I have been experiencing some not-so-pleasant side-effects from what I believe (and my doctor concurs) is very probably due to the pill. Some of the side effects that I'm experiencing include:

-Excessive bloating and discomfort after eating and particularly during PMS
-Skin discolourations on my face
-Skin irritations on my elbows
-Bad hair days
-Fatigue, like, all the time. ALL THE TIME.
-Severe bitchiness and lack of emotional control.

Okay fine. That last one? That's just me. But who knows? Maybe it's BECOME me after pumping my poor body full of chemicals for the last 12 years? Maybe I'm a stoic, super-nice Saint lady after all? Not bloody likely, but whatever.

My doctor told me that one option is to change pills (I've been on the same one for 12 years and it's always been a great fit for me, these side-effects are all very recent. Except the bad hair days. Those have been around for some time now) but I personally feel like it's time to give my body a break. I want to see if I can go clean. I'm sure it will be a good thing for my body and it might even be a good thing for my mind.

I've been reading some research about withdrawal from the pill and how difficult some people find it. The side effects sound very similar to many of the negative side effects that many people experience when they first go ON the pill. It's all very confusing but apparently I can expect:

-headaches
-loss of appetite
-bad hair days
-incessant hunger
-bloating
-dryness
-no periods for several months (yoohoo!)
-extremely heavy periods that last for months (hmph)

You get my drift. Who knows what to expect? NOBODY, that's who! And you know why? Because although they are freely handing out birth control pills to women and GIRLS there is frighteningly little research done on actual physical side effects of both taking and stopping this medication.

I know it's cliche, but do you think that men would EVER intentionally take a pill every day for 12 years, knowing that it might cause some of these kinds of side-effects? Don't say steroids, I know you're going to say steroids and those don't count because they are ILLEGAL and those men are complete IDIOTS whose muscles have eaten their brains.

My point? Ah, yes. I'm apologizing in advance to anyone who may inadvertently suffer because of my decision to stop taking the pill. I don't expect that my withdrawal will be too horrible, since I never had very severe side-effects while on it. But if you're talking to me and I suddenly burst into uncontrollable sobbing, now you'll know why.

Condoms, eh? It's been a while.

Boys

I meant to come back and write a little more about my trip down south, but life got in the way for a while. Now, besides saying that it was fabulous fun in the sun, sand and surf (and a little too much time in the WC, but we won't go there), I thought I'd leave you with a look at what really made the vacation extra special.

I give you, the boys:

My Funny Valentine

Oh my God you guys, this is SOOO funny.

So Crown and I were totally looking forward to a nice romantic Valentine's Day, you know? Out for dinner at a quiet romantic spot we like. Flowers, wine, dessert... all the players were going to be there.

HA! So then we find out that reservations we made were actually NOT made so we couldn't go to the restaurant. Ahhh, but not a problem. Crown decided to make a nice dinner instead, which would be so lovely because we could just get into our comfies and spend out first Valentine's Day in our house. SO nice.

HaHaHAAA... so then while Crown was heading over to pick up a nice bottle of wine to go with the pasta he would make, he totally got HIT BY AN SUV AND TOTALLED OUR NEW CAR.

Ha? Ha ha?

The good news here is that thankfully he did not get hurt. And also that we ended up ordering greasy Chinese food and polishing off a bottle wine before passing out on the couch at 9 pm.

Luckily I love greasy Chinese, wine and sleeping.

Where Did We Go Right?

From Johnny and June, in one of the most romantic duets that the iconic lovers ever sang:

In a world, where every one is falling apart,
One by one, heart by heart.
You and I, stay together and we never even try.
Side by side.

In a world turned upside down, our love keeps spinning around.
And you know it makes me wonder, as the rest run for their lives,
Where did we go right?

At a time, when all the world is searching for truth,
Is love real? We're living proof.
And what we have, is what everybody's trying to find.
Peace of mind.

In a world turned upside down, our love keeps spinning around.
And you know it makes me wonder, as the rest run for their lives.
Where did we go right?

Because I couldn't have said it better myself.
Happy Valentine's Day, Crown. I love you.

Stop Me If You Think That You've Heard This One Before

I know it's so "unblogger" of me, but I totally hate these things, normally. However, Scarbiedoll did it first and Scarb is ALWAYS a good read so, monkey see monkey do!

Four jobs I’ve had:
1. Babysitter/Nanny. Started sitting at the age of about 11. Always preferred infants. Sat for many families but my very favourites were Aiden and Sebastien, the beautiful baby boys across the street. I was their Nanny during the summer for a few years and sat with them a lot. Developed my love of babies because of these two little guys.
2. Selling shoes. Pegabo Shoes in the Beaches. Worked there for about 6 years on and off throughout highschool and university (in the summers). Developed a life long shoe additction.
3. Booking agent. Los Angeles, California. Worked with my ex-BF. Developed a mad crush on my current BF and a passion for Santa Monica, California.
4. Website Producer. For my current company. Developed a love of the Internet and an ulcer.

Four movies I could watch over and over:
1. Flirting with Disaster
2. The Big Lebowski
3. Terms of Endearment
4. The Princess Bride

Four places I’ve lived:
1. The Beaches, Toronto, ON
2. London, ON
3. Los Angeles, California
4. Trendy Beaconsfield Village (seriously, that's what they call it these days), Toronto, ON

Four TV shows I love (currently):
1. 24
2. Grey's Anatomy
3. Oprah
4. Lost

Four places I've been on vacation (oh man, only four? These are just my current favourites:)
1. Costa Rica
2. Spain (particularly San Sebastian and Barcelona, but loved all of it)
3. Domincan Republic. Been six times now, truly a beautiful country, particularly if you venture away from the resorts a little.
4. Prague, Czech Republic (it's like walking around in a Fairytale)

Four blogs I visit daily… again, four is not enough, but in no particular order:
1. Martinis for Milk
2. My Tragic Right Hip
3. A Socialite's Life
4. Lainey's Entertainment Update

Four Favorite Foods:
1. French Fries and Gravy
2. My mom's Homemade Hamburgers (best ever).
3. Danish Licorice (an acquired taste but us Danes start young)
4. Roast Turkey with Mashed Potatoes and Gravy.

Four places I'd rather be:
1. Back in bed with my man, my pug, a good book and a steaming cup of coffee.
2. At the cottage with my man, my pug, a good book and an ice cold beer.
3. Lying under a palm on a white sand beach listening to the ocean and soaking up the sun (with anyone or nobody).
4. (If it were summer) Hanging on the balcony at Scarb's old place in Little Portugal laughing, gossiping, bbqing and living it up like old times.

Four CDs I listened to most recently:
1. Carryin' On with June Carter and Johnny Cash
2. Playing the Angel: Depeche Mode
3. The Smiths Best (vol. 1)
4. Nellyville: Nelly

Last four vehicles I’ve owned:
1. Well, I had a sled once.
2. And a tricycle. Red with white rims and streamers on the handlebars.
3. Cabbage Patch Kids Big Wheel.
4. First real car? 2005 Mazda 3 sedan.