Happy Birthday to You: Three and a Half

Dear Anabella,



Tomorrow you will be three and a half years old.

 Trying to figure out three and a half on your fingers. 

We had our bi-annual chair shoot today, one day early, just after waking up from a long nap together in my bed. It was by far the highlight of my day, my week; the first time I laughed this week and actually felt it in my heart.

Rolling your eyes at my cheesiness.

This was our first shoot in the new house. Up in the sweet little room on the third floor, the one that houses your chair, a few boxes, and a big TV. It was bitter sweet to take these photos and not be in your old nursery. I love our new house, but I miss your old room, mostly because of what it symbolizes. My baby. My first baby. Just look at you now, all grown into your preschooler deliciousness.

   Three and a half going on 13.

I don't have much to say about three and a half except that the amount you have changed and grown in the last six months is infinite. I couldn't possibly capture you in words but I think our photos today are worth a thousand.



You swing wildly these days, my girl. Your temper is fast and fierce. Some days it's like living with a tiny dictator. "GET! ME! MY! MILK! AND! SHOW!" is the first thing out of your mouth after daycare. And you mean NOW. Other times you are so loving, kind, heartbreakingly empathetic. Little kids shouldn't be so aware of the suffering of others. You can detect the faintest sadness. There is very little that you miss.

Here you are, feeling something deeply. Probably the fact that you can't have your MILK AND SHOW.

Your language is remarkable. I know I always mention it here, but you really do speak as clearly and articulately as a full grown human. Sometimes it makes communicating difficult, believe it or not, because I forget that you are three and half. You don't sound like three and half. I forget that while your language is there your comprehension is not always at the same level. Sometimes you dumb down your words, just so I'll remember that you're little.



And then sometimes you naturally make a mistake with your words. And those are the most delightful moments. My favourite misspoken phrase recently is when you tried to say, "Oh my gosh!" But instead it came out, "Hey my goshes!" I will remember that for the rest of my life. Oh my gosh will never be the same.

You're beautiful in every way. And I know that emphasizing beauty is a dangerous message for a little girl. Lately you're becoming very aware of gender roles and divisions. Differences, real or invented, between little boys and girls, between women and men. I've tried to protect you from these unfair discrepancies but if there's one thing parenthood has taught me, it's that no matter how hard we try there are many things we can't protect our children from. So I hope that you'll embrace your beauty and always recognize that as cliche as it may sound it is from within. And you've got it girl. You've got it in every way.  

 Hangin' out, being gorgeous. And smart.

You really are my sunshine, sweet girl. My happiness when it is grey. You'll never know, Bella, how much I love you. You'll never know. Until you have a baby of your own.

Hey my goshes, I love you!

Mommy

Nine

Wishing a very happy ninth birthday to my charming, quirky, irksome, funny, handsome, loving, stinky, hilarious, beautiful fur baby.




Momes, we never take for granted that each passing year with you is a special gift and I hope with all my heart that you're around to wake us up with your incessant barking for many more years to come.

Just yesterday a lady on the street asked me if you were a puppy. She wouldn't believe me when I told her you were nine. And it's true, even though you've just reached the ripe old age of 63 people years, I swear you don't look a single day over 50. Well, except for that ever-so-dignified white beard. 



Thanks Lil' Boss, for loving us no matter what, and for for being so patient and lovely with your human sister, even though she swept in and stole the spotlight from you in just about every way. She loves you more than ice cream. So do I.





Happy Birthday my wonderful Momo! I love you,


Mommy

The Gambler(s)

Motherhood is nothing if not a gamble. From the moment of conception you are betting every last emotion on the outcome. Betting on an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby. Betting that this most complex, life-changing adventure will bring you riches worthy of all the sacrifice and struggle.

Indeed in my experience it has been the greatest gamble I have ever made, but also the most astounding win. But then I'm a betting woman. I come by it honestly, from generations of women who have made this same bet and won.

And so it is fitting that our family tradition is to celebrate Mother's Day at the racetrack. Surrounded by all the people that make me a most fortunate winner.

This year we were soaked in sunshine and clutching our paper tickets as we cheered and jumped up and down, inhibitions laid wayside by the sheer excitement of the race.



Little paper tickets that represent dreams, and it's not such a reach to compare them to all the dreams that as a mom you clutch close to your heart as you cheer your children on through their journey. Sometimes those dreams will be realized, and just as often they will not. But the excitement of what's to come around the next bend is always there, and it's always thrilling.

This year as the glorious creatures came thundering towards the finish line, I looked at my mother, my sister, my glorious little girl, and was easy to see how fortunate I am.

Regardless of which beautiful animal crossed that finish line by a nose -- of whether my paper ticket ended up cashed in or crumpled and tossed in a heap on our table laden with food, drink and love -- I have hit the jackpot. I could not ask for more.

Oh, Mexico

Way down here, you need a reason to move
Feel a fool running your stateside games
Lose your load, leave your mind behind, Baby James

Oh, Mexico
It sounds so simple I just to go
The suns so hot I forgot to go home
Guess I'll have to go now

- James Taylor; because I can't say it any better myself.

And after that brief musical interlude (one of my favourite songs, by one of my favourite songsters), I give you the photos that will make you want to take your babies Mexico. Like. Right. Fucking. Now.

On the plane:

On the beach:

Early morning:


After dinner strolls in beautiful Playa del Carmen:

Posing with Dad:


Morning pastry run with Auntie Sue and Baby Greta:

My tiny tourist:


Beach breakfast!

Hi, lashes:


Beach naps are best:


The beach, again for good measure:

I'll House You

We've been renovating our new house since January 15. Demolition started exactly one day after we took possession. For three weeks, as the walls and ceilings came down and the floor came up, we lived somewhat unaffected in our condo. But on February 4, we said good-bye to our first little home, packed all of our belongings into the basement of the new house, by that time just a dusty ramshackle skeleton of the house we'd bought, and moved to my parents house, where we've been ever since.

It's now been almost nine weeks since the renovations at the new house began. The changes are remarkable and I'm anxious to document them all here, but it's been difficult to photograph very often or very well because the place is such a mess, so many tools and buckets of debris and Tim Horton's cups. I could have rolled up about 25 rims when I popped in yesterday if I'd had the time. Of course I would have won exactly nothing.

I think the best way to document what we've done will be to do room-by-room posts once everything is finished. Problem with that is, well, let's just say it's going to be a while. So, in the meantime I thought I'd just do a quick run down of some of the areas we're tackling, with some photos of the very early stages of the demo (keep in mind this was eight weeks ago). You can see some pictures of the house as it was when we bought it, here.

1. We removed all the floors, ceilings and trim on the first and second floors of the house. This is the dining room, living room view.

2. We ripped up the existing entryway tile and are adding a door and transom window to close off this space and create a proper vestibule.

3. Here's the main floor staircase. This is getting a total overhaul. The wall that closes it off from the dining room is coming down, the treads and risers are being replaced. The railing is being completely rebuilt and we're adding a beautiful salvaged newel post, found on Craig's List for $55! Holla! Of course, whole thing will need to be painted and stained. Actually, whole house will need to be painted and stained.

4. Here's a shot of the wall that's being removed from beside the main stairs. This is taken from in the dining room.

5. And again, in the dining room, wall coming down, see that arch over the kitchen doorway? GONE. We're squaring it off, along with a second arch that you can't see here, over the doorway to the basement. All getting trimmed out and painted.

6. Fireplace (doesn't work, one day we'll refurbish) is getting new tiles in front and painted. Possibly a new mantel to replace that lovely concrete slab (budget depending, not looking good). See those shovels? Yeah, used to shovel the debris and dirt out of the house after the demo.

7. Up on the second floor, at the back of the house, was a strange little half-kitchen. Here it's well on it's way to becoming a proper room (secret: this is now one of my very favourite rooms in the house, just wait til you see how CUTE it's turned out!).

8. The second floor hallway, ceilings, floors, trim removed. All getting replaced and painted. Also rebuilding that railing, but keeping the original newel post you can see here. Should also mention that the entire house is being rewired. We removed every single light-fixture in the place. We may be living with bare bulbs until budget allows us to buy proper lighting.

9. Master bedroom. We are fixing the wall shown here so that it is flush with the chimney bump-out you can see. The closet opening on the left is getting sealed and will instead open up into Bella's room next door. We're having wall to wall closets installed on the wall you can't see.

10. Bella's room. Here you can see the opening that used to be the closet in our room. It will be an open space for built-in shelves. Her existing closet will be all finished up nicely with drywall and trim (secret: I saw this room almost totally finished yesterday OMG I DIE, I DIIIIEEEE.)

11. Stairs up to the third floor will be trimmed and painted. We're not doing any major work up there at this time because it's on the list for a future (deep future) total overhaul, but the whole floor will be painted and that alone will make a hell of a difference.

I think that covered the major renos for now. We'll also be giving the kitchen and bathrooms cosmetic updates, but no major changes at this time. They are also on the future list... my mind is churning with possibilities all the time. My pocket book just can't quite keep up.