That's right. I'm afraid of the phone. Crazy right? Wrong. Mostly because for the last two weeks or so, everytime I pick one up there's bad news spitting out at me from the other end.
It kind of goes something like this:
Bearer of Bad News: "Something horrible has happened."
B: "Oh shit, not again."
BOBN: "That's right. Again. And it's worse than the bad news that you got last time you answered the phone."
B: "Crap. I can't believe I answered the phone."
BOBN: [insert some kind of horrible news/crying/swearing here]
B: "Man I wish that you were just a telemarketer."
That's obviously a loose interpretation, but it pretty much sums up what's been going on lately. Bad news. I hate to start Beaches' Speeches off on such a negative note, but I thought, why not get it out there front and centre? At least this way the only direction we can go is up.
Right? [This is where you just agree with me no matter what]. Right. Great.
So having said all that, welcome to my life. It's not the most exciting place to visit, but I assure you that it's not always so gloomy. Sometimes it's just a really nice place to be. Here's hoping we can have some laughs.
And here's hoping that the next phone call I get is someone trying to sell me a freakin' vacuum cleaner or something. Those who know me already will understand that vacuums constitute a warm safe place for Beaches.