Happy Birthday to You: Everley Edition: 9 Months Old

Dear Everley,



I've been thinking a lot about how quickly you are growing. It all seems to be happening so fast now. On June 21 you turned nine months old.  I always feel that nine months is a particularly significant age for a baby because it's when you have been on the outside for as long as you were on the inside. It will never ever cease to amaze me that you once fit so perfectly inside my body. INSIDE. MY. BODY. You fit. It's remarkable. And what's even more remarkable than how you once fit IN me, is how you now fit so perfectly OUT of me.

 

There's something so special about the way your little body fits right onto mine like jigsaw puzzle. When you were a newborn your head would rest in the palm of my hand while your tiny feet curled up in the crook of my elbow. Or you would lie on your tummy across my lap while I gently rocked you back and forth, the fit so perfect that there was no fear that you could fall.

 

Before long you were able to lie lengthwise in my lap, little smiling face beaming up at me from my knees while your scrumptious feet would gently knead my soft postpartum belly. Before I knew it you were sitting on my hip. Is there anything better? Anything in the world better than a baby on your hip? I still get an absolute surge of joy when I pick you up and you snap right onto me with your chubby legs around my waste and sausage arms tight around my neck.

SAUSAGE ARMS!!

And how is possible that when you were one hour old, one month old, half a year, nine months -- you always fit just perfectly against my body when you nurse? Head tucked into the crook of my arm, back snug against my inner forearm and little diapered bum tucked perfectly into my hand. It's almost as if I'm growing right along with you. And there it is, isn't it? Because of course, the truth is, I am. We all are - your dad and sister and me. Not only are you the perfect fit physically, but metaphysically as well.



You fit us, Everley Read. You're a perfect fit.

I love you,

Mommy

Happy Birthday To You: Everley Edition: 8 Months Old

Dear Everley,



A month ago you turned eight months old. So here's how it's going to be from now on. I will always be one full month late getting your birthday posts written and I will always be one hour late for absolutely everything else in my life. Let's accept it, deal with it, move on.

Let's see. The weeks between seven and eight months were packed with a lot of firsts. Here's a run down:

1. First teeth! OMG cutest little teeth ever. The two on the bottom. They came in together on the same day and took about a week to really poke through. So far, no more to speak of but I'm totally fine with that because those little razors hurt and you're a biter. 

2. Sitting up on your own! Yay! You really hate being confined to any sort of baby-wrangling contraption (except the Jolly Jumper and the stroller both of which you still love) so the fact that you can now sit up unassisted is helpful because I can plunk you down where ever and you're happy because you don't have to lie still. Not that you ever lie still. Ever.

Sitting!

Sitting skills also makes bath time easier and more fun. Splashing is also a fav pastime.

3. "Crawling" everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I call it crawling but it's not really, it's more of an army-style, military drag using your left arm to pull yourself and your right big toe to push yourself. Arm, toe, arm, toe. It's as adorable as it sounds and surprisingly efficient.

You need to work on not getting stuck under ALL THE FURNITURE. But I'm sure that's coming soon.

4. Obsession: magazines! You can't get enough. You will bee line all the way across the room, though a virtual obstacle course of baby toys, just to get to my stack of magazines. You know I don't want you to have them, but you can't resist them. I understand, I have a magazine addiction myself. But I do think you need to stop eating them.

5. First swing! So fun. Your big sis hated the swings until she was... well, until about six months ago. She refused to swing! This made visits to the park almost unbearable because really? What's a parent supposed to do at the park if not push the swing? Stand there and watch the kids go up and down the same stupid slide for three hours? Kill me. Swinging is where it's at and thankfully you love it. Small mercies.

First swing!

Aside from all of these milestoney-type things, which are fascinating and exciting for me but probably a full-on snore fest for anyone else, we just had a really fun time this month. You've hit optimal baby age, in my opinion. You're funny, you're entertaining, you've got personality for days. It's a very good thing because you and I spend A LOT of time together. A LOT OF TIME ALL THE TIME SO MUCH TIME 24/7 ALWAYS. You're my little shadow and I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Oh I got tricks in store."

Can't wait to see what tricks and treats are in store for us next (LOL that's funny because I already know! Because this post is a month late! I bet the suspense is killing you! Or not, whatevs, see you in a month).

"But wait! What happens next month? WHAT HAPPENS NEXT MONTH??!!"

I love you!

Mommy 

Happy Birthday to You: Everley Edition: 7 Months Old

Dear Everley,



Hello there honey child. On April 21 you turned seven months old. I don't have a whole lot to say about your development in the weeks between six and seven months, except that you are moving right along hitting your milestones and having fun doing so, but I will report that I continue to be absolutely obsessed with you.

Teething is coming along just fine as evidenced by your refusal to remove this card from your mouth.

Seriously, one day I hope you'll read this and when you do I want you to know that I'm not sure anyone has ever made me feel utter joy the way that you do. I feel guilty putting this down in words because obviously you have a big sister and I can't possibly minimize how incredibly happy she makes me. She, who has literally changed the very fiber of my being. When Anabella was born she completed me.

Full of joy even though you are literally biting off my face.

You? You lift me up; you get under my skin and float me up onto a cloud happiness that hovers just above anything else that is going on in that moment. The feeling that I get when you smile at me? I can't. I can't explain it. It's pure, flawless, spectacular joy like I've never felt before.

I love this photo because it's so rare to see you sad. That one little tear lasted just a moment before you were happily giggling away at your sister and I again.

Where your sister challenges me to be a better person, a smarter, more patient, more inquisitive person - she's my little sage, my life coach, my professor - you are showing me how to laugh with abandon, how to let go of my worries and find a peaceful place of yummy delight regardless of what's going on around us or what daily stresses might be dancing around in my head.

You make me want to stop whatever obsessive cleaning and organizing I'm up to, throw my hair in pigtails and dance with you around the house. We do it every day with abandon and I will miss it so when you're too big to want to anymore.

Your Daddy calls you Sparkle and that is it exactly. That's exactly what you do and who you are. You are Sparkle.



My amazing little Buddha-baby, my bringer of giggles and lover of life.

I love you so much,

 

 Mommy

Happy Birthday To You: Everley Edition: 6 Months Old

Author's note: Everley turns seven months old today, making this the latest birthday letter I've ever written. So that's something. Anyway, here's her six month letter. Seven month photos and post to come... soonish?

Dear Everley,

My smiling buddha babe. 

On March 21 you turned 6 months old and excuse me but could you get ANY cuter? I mean, girlfriend, you are just so fucking cute. Pardon my French but I need to really express the level of cuteness here and sometimes you just need a good strong swear word to do that. Cute, cute, cute. I'm obsessed with you.

The weeks between five and six months were kind of a big deal. I mean, hello, solid food? Nailed it. Rolling across the room? Doing it all the time. Jolly Jumper domination? Boom.

You especially love to eat, as evidenced by the fact that though I only intended to feed you once a day until you turned six months, you went rabid for solids and ended up eating three squares within two weeks of starting. So here we are. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Fruits, veggies, meats, oatmeal, formula and of course ample amounts of good old fashioned breast milk. You devour it all. Might explain why at your six month check up you weighed in at a whopping 18lbs, 10oz.

Big and hungry.

But back to the cute thing because I need to harp in this a bit more. Everley, you literally glow with happiness. I don't think there have been too many moments where I can't make you smile or laugh just by looking at you. Even when you're at your most distraught I can make you laugh just by flashing you a grin. Because baby girl, you are full of joy. Big and bursting with joy, my smiling Buddha baby. 

This joy of yours? It's exactly, EXACTLY, what our family needed. Not to say we weren't joyful before you - we were - but the three of us older Champagnes also tend to lean toward the serious. We are funny, but its a dry funny. We can be silly, but its not our most natural instinct. We are all somewhat reserved, contemplative, dare I say moody. We needed your light, your sparkle, you. We needed you.

Girlfriend is rockin' this ponytail out. 

Happy half-year my Buddha. 

I love you, 

Mommy

Happy Birthday to You: 9 Months Old

Dear Anabella,

I think your development this month has finally surpassed my ability to adequately document it. Until this month it was relatively easy for me to pick out one or two significant things to talk about. 'Slept through the night,' for example, or 'giggled for the first time.' Around six months it might have been, 'ate her first solid food' and then, 'said Dada one hundred thousand times but has not said Mama or anything even close to it.' Yeah. That's right. Still haven't.


This month the most obvious and amazing development is how physical you have become. You sit up incredibly well and keep your balance, correct yourself and move all over the place on your bottom. You've learned to do this little baby-creep that I like to affectionately call the Bella Butt Shuffle. The Butt Shuffle is a strange thing because honestly, I'm not even sure how you do it? All I know is that I can put you down in one place, turn my gaze away for a minute or two and when I look back you are somewhere else. It's amazing, but it has also made my life just a little bit more difficult. No more leaving you alone on your playmat while I jump in the shower. These days it's got to be crib-jail for you.

You've also mastered the art of pulling yourself through from sitting up onto your hands and knees. While you are not quite moving forward in a traditional crawl you are a mere days away from doing it. You like to get into the crawl position and rock back and forth, just waiting for the right moment to take off. And while part of me waits anxiously for you to take those first few forward movements, I also recognize the shocking significance.

Pretty soon you'll be deciding where you want to go, and when. It's something that I'll have to stand back and watch happen for the first time, and then forever more. And of course I want you to always move forward with confidence, but there is a little part of me wants you to stay right beside me, clutching on to my neck for support like you do when you are sleepy and relying on me for balance and guidance. Only nine months and already I have to start to let you go?

That's what being a parent is really all about. It's about creating these tiny creatures that you quickly grow to need so desperately, and then giving them all the tools they need to one day, confidently, leave you behind.

So, although for you, this month has been about getting bigger and moving forward, the developments that I cherish most this month are things that remind me that you are still a baby. You have taken to sucking your thumb at night, after the soother has long been tossed aside. I know that many people hope their kids will never do it, but it's so precious and it also allows you to sooth yourself when you wake up, instead of needing Daddy or I to run in and put you back to sleep.

You are becoming incredibly vocal and though you always clam up in the presence of strangers, when it's just you and I you will babble for hours. It's so beautiful to listen to, this baby language. And you have the sweetest little voice. Never too loud, always lilting and pretty, you're experimenting more and more each day with pitch and sounds and words. There is nothing, besides your incredible laugh, that I'd rather listen too.

Finally, your love for music continues to grow. You sing yourself to sleep at nap time and hum softly in your stroller while we walk. When we are in the car together, I can hear you quietly chirping away and it comforts me to know that you are secure and happy back there alone. When I break out in song, no matter how serious or silly, you break out in smiles. It's all the encouragement I need and so I find that because of you I am singing all day long. It's one of my greatest pleasures.

And this month, along with the singing, you have also started to dance! Oh mother of all things cute. The music starts and off you go, rocking away to the beat, either on your bum or on your hands and knees. And, Girl? You've got rhythm! I've tried to capture you on video a few times, but you always play shy. Here's the best I could do so far:



Bella, you have now been on the outside of my body for as long as you were inside of it. I have been madly in love with you for 18 months now and every day, every single day, I love you more. You are my pride, my joy, my inspiration.

I love you.

Mommy

Let's Be Friends, We'll Do Things Together...

Things like, oh I don't know, knock each other over, pull each others' hair and grab big handfuls of face. Ouch.

But really though, Bella and Olivia are true buds and it's an amazing thing to watch a friendship develop from the very, very beginning. Stay tuned for more...

Falling

Have you ever had one of those days? Wait. Don't answer that. I already know that, yes, of course you have had one (hundred) of them. But still, would you mind indulging me for a few minutes to listen to mine?

I'm trying to be careful these days about complaining about silly, superficial "problems" like, "my baby woke up four times last night and then by way of thanks for comforting her with boob at 4 a.m. decided to bite my nipple off." In light of some recent tragedies I really do understand that these things are part of life and I should suck it up and deal. And I do. Really, I think I do deal with these little things with as much grace and humour as my tired body and mind will allow.

But today? Oh, please. Let me complain about today! I promise I will end the rant on a light note and bring it all back to the silver lining, cool?

It all started with a trip to Bella's doctor. He is located in a swanky part of town, so I took extra care to put myself together, wearing not only my favourite jeans but also a cute pair of shoes with a little heel and everything. I even put on lip gloss. I managed to get myself and my baby ready, out of the house and all the way to the parking lot behind the office before things started to fall apart.

The parking lot was under major construction, but I took it all in stride. I couldn't park in the underground lot because according to signs that I actually managed to read, the elevator was not working and I wouldn't be able to hoist Bella in her stroller up all those flights of stairs. So I waited patiently for a coveted outdoor, street level spot. And I got one! And I was on time! I loaded her into her stroller, bundled her up (it was a cold and very windy day in Toronto today and she was a little under-dressed for it I'm afraid) into the stroller and detoured the long way around to avoid the dangers of the construction site.

I made it to the office just on time and unbundled her, carried her in to the office and proceeded to take off her sweater and hat and shoes. We are all ready. The nice nurse was working and looked at me weird but I thought nothing of it. After a while I realized I wasn't getting called so I went up to the desk and said, "Hi. Anabella is here, just so you know. No rush." She glanced at the charts in front of her and then gave me what would be the first of the oh-you-poor-frazzled-over-worked-under-rested-woman looks of the day. If you are a mom, you know the look that I mean.

"I'm glad that you made it," she said to me with a sympathetic little smile, "but your appointment was yesterday."

Then I died a little bit from sheer humiliation.

Then I realized that all the other moms in the waiting room were giving me the oh-you-poor-woman look too. I guffawed some awkward laugh and stammered something about how I must have written down wrong on my calendar and asked (begged) that she squeeze us in anyway. She did. Thank you kind nurse, karma will be kind to you. But full disclosure? I hadn't written down the wrong day at all, I had simply fucked it up.

Bella did great at the unscheduled appointment which was thankfully needle-free and once we made it out of there I decided to reward my own stupidity with a quick trip to Baby Gap (oh, living it up, I know). I got half way there when I realized that the gale force winds were so bad that they were actually making my baby cry but I pushed on. We did a little shopping and warmed up but I had to pee so that was the end of the fun.

On the way back to the car the wind was in our faces. Great. Now the baby was crying AND losing her blanket which was the only real shelter from the wind that she had. It blew out of her stroller and into a busy intersection at one point but thankfully an elderly lady with a cane bent down to grab it for me before it was lost forever. As she handed it back to me and glanced at my red-cheeked crying baby, you guessed it, she gave me the look. "It's cold today," was all she said. Sigh. Yes, indeed it is.

Once we got back to the parking lot the wind was so bad that I was struggling to control my stroller and pushing it into the wind was like butting up against a brick wall. I got to the car and was faced with a dilemma. I couldn't take my hand off the stroller or it would blow away but I had to somehow get the baby out and into her car seat and this is next to impossible with only one hand. I somehow rigged up a solution where I held the stroller with one foot, lifted out the baby, put her in her seat and I almost did it. I came so close. But the wind got the better of me and off went my stroller like Mary Poppins and her umbrella, flying into the middle of the parking lot. I ran out after it and grabbed it just as a woman drove slowly past me, her children all bundled and warm in the back of her BMW SUV and she shook her head sadly and flashed me the look.

I should have quit there. I should have packed it in and went straight home. But, oh no. No, no. I had dry-cleaning to drop off and a pumpkin to purchase! And I was going to accomplish those feats, oh yes I was. So off to the grocery store. A fatal error. Dry cleaning got dropped off and I moved the car to a family parking spot in front of the grocery store. I loaded Bella, car seat and all, into a grocery cart and stood outside in the freezing wind trying to find a NORMAL SIZED PUMPKIN that would fit in my cart, along with my infant and her car seat. BUT OH NO. All the pumpkins this year are apparently jacked full of pumpkin steroids. There was not one single GOD DAMNED pumpkin that was small enough that I could a) lift it and b) FIT IT IN THE SHOPPING CART. Who wants these giant pumpkins? Who are you people?!

Pumpkin mission abandoned. I headed into the store instead for comfort food. I would eat my way out of this day. A half-dozen bagels, bag of Sun Chips, carton chocolate milk and pint of frozen yogurt later and we were finally going home. So I get out to the parking lot, Bella and my groceries in the shopping cart. I should have learned something when my stroller went flying earlier, but surely a shopping cart is sturdier than my umbrella stroller, right? WRONG.

Just as I lifted Bella's car seat out of the cart the wind caught it and sent it careening across the lot, full speed, toward someone's shiny silver Audi. I had the baby in car seat, in my arms. I tossed her, and I mean tossed, into the back seat of my car, and took off running after the cart. Had I been in normal, mom-friendly shoes, I would have made it too. But oh no. My shoes were not mom-friendly at all and they let me down. My feet literally just slid out from under me and I did a full-on face plant onto the ground, peeling my face off the asphalt just in time to watch my cart crash full speed into the shiny pretty car.

I'm sorry person who owns that Audi. I really am. But this time there was nobody around to give me the look. I hope you take some comfort in the knowledge that I've already paid the karmic price for jumping into my car and speeding off without waiting to find you and tell you how I scratched your car. My good jeans are ripped. My knee is scraped and my thumb is still throbbing and bleeding. But mostly, my ego is bruised. Because just when you think you've got it all together, there's always a face-plant waiting in the wings to put you back into your place.

So where's the silver lining in this dreadful day? Well here it is. I got home and because my baby had missed her morning nap and had to wait until almost 2 p.m. to have her lunch, she was exhausted and went down for a three-hour nap. This allowed me to drink a hot cup of tea and curl up on the couch to nurse my wounds with Oprah and soap operas.

Oh, and also? I had an awesome celebrity sighting! As Gossip Girl would say, "Spotted: This fabulous fellow and his own flirty Entourage, skipping their way down Bloor Street all suited up for a special occasion and having a gay ol' time."


Oh Lloyd, how I love thee. Thank you for walking past as I struggled in the whipping wind to try and stop my baby from balling and save her blanket from blowing out again into traffic. I'm the one that you looked at. And I forgive you because you made me smile.

The Lonely Goatherd

Went to go see the stage performance of Sound of Music at the Princess of Wales theater last week. Awesome. Loved it. It was a truly fun night spent with two of my favourite moms (Scarb and her BFF) and my number one favourite wing-man, formerly known as Weirdo, but these days we're calling him Uncle Daddy. Heh.

The night started off with cosmos at Peter Pan on Queen West. So hip, I know. Then we saw the show and tried not to piss off the earnest audience members around us by laughing too loudly at some of the cheesier moments. There were many, but I still loved it. Great sets, nuns who could sing their asses off, and yes the VonTrapp kids were super, super cute and not in a way that made me want to vomit at all. Must be the new-found mother in me?

After the show Uncle Daddy and I went for more drinks and met up with an old friend who I hadn't seen in a couple of years. It was "almost" an old-school, out on the town, BB (before Bella) kind of night with cocktails and ciggies and adult conversation. I was just getting into the groove when all of a sudden the clock struck midnight and I suddenly turned back into a pumpkin.

That is, I received a desperate and (dare I say angry? True, I'd missed the first two calls because my phone was on vibrate) phone call from Crown. Baby was screaming. Daddy was panicking. Mommy was in a cab and at home in about 5 minutes flat. So much for letting loose. Ah well. It was a super fun night while it lasted. I'm beginning to finally get it now. As "the mom" I don't really ever get to go out "strings-free" or stress-free pretty much ever again. Or at least for the next, what? 18 years. Sigh.

Anyway, in an ever-so fitting development, this week Bella has learned how to yodel. Seriously. I'm not sure if it's because of all the, "High on a hill was a lonely goatherd. Lay ee odl ay ee odl ay hee hoo," I've been singing since the show, but I'm telling you, it's the cutest thing ever. She has also suddenly discovered how to do that "burble burble burble" thingy where she runs her finger over her lips to make a buzzing kind of noise. Ever since she's discovered these new tricks (about three days ago) she's pretty much been doing a combo of the two non-stop and therefore keeping her father and I in constant hysterics.

But why try to tell you, when I can show you. So here you go, for your viewing pleasure, the yodeling, burbling baby:

Happy Birthday To You: 8 Months Old

Dear Anabella,


8 months, eh? Way to go, Kid. Lots to report on this month, for sure, but I'm going to make it brief because of the kind of week it has been for all of us. I'd prefer to reflect on some bigger issues today, instead.

You are fully sitting up by yourself now and you are so proud to be able to do it. It's not too far away before you'll be pulling yourself right forward and starting to crawl. You remain pretty chill about it all, though, and we can tell you are in no rush. Baby Girl, there are so many years ahead of you for rushing. Take it slow for now and enjoy.


You continue to expand your ever growing culinary tastes. This month we started to feed you some chunkier bits and just today you realized what the heck to do with them! You chew! Can't tell you how relieved I am to see it. This has been a tough, tough week and Mommy is on edge about your health and your safety. To see you chew those chunks like a pro and swallow them safely instead of spitting them at me or choking them down is the best gift. We'll be taking it slow here too, but what a great start you have made.



We had our first "all girls'' trip this month with Auntie Dings and baby Liv. The four days that we spent together at the cottage were incredibly precious to me and something that I will remember fondly forever. You seemed to really notice your friend for the first time and to watch you two girls interact in your own baby-way made your Auntie Dings and I swell up with joy. I hope that one day you will have the same relationship with Liv that I am privileged enough have with her mom.


As mentioned, despite the many gifts and joys that you bring to me every day, this has been an incredibly sad week for your father and I, and for many of our friends. I believe that out of great tragedy must come great learning and so I am working very hard to find some perspective and to hold it tight. I've spent some hours sitting in your room and watching you sleep this week. Something that I haven't done since you were tiny and sleeping close beside me. I'm finding that have to let you go a little bit more every day. Every day you get a tiny bit more independent and you need me a tiny bit less. But Anabella, one day you will read this and when you do I want you to know something important.

The fulfillment, love, pleasure and joy that you have brought into our lives in these eight short months is already worth more than any pain or sorrow that we will have to survive as a family. I know that this is not the last difficult week that we will go though together. There will always be more tears and more fears and more challenges. Here's the thing though. As long as we have each other, we can get though it all. All I need, all I need, is Daddy and you.

Another thing that you learned to do very well this month? Give hugs. And wow. I can't imagine a more precious development. Your hugs? They are the best therapy, the best medicine, the only drug that I'll ever need, ever again. As long as those hugs keep coming, we'll keep going. Together, us three.

I love you so much.

Mommy

Mama Mia

Yesterday I met up with my BFF, Dings, and her daughter Livvie and we all went to go and see a real movie, in a real movie theatre. OMG! Why did we wait all these months to do this? It was so much fun!

Cineplex plays movies during weekdays labeled Stars and Strollers, and modified specifically for parents and infants. They turn the sound down a little bit and leave some dim lighting on. I was worried that these things, and a theatre full of crying babies would ruin the experience of seeing a film on the big screen for me but, in fact, I barely even noticed the difference. Oh, there are babies crying, believe me, but maybe my newly-acquired momness has made me more tolerant of it? I actually thought it was really cute and loved being in a big room with so many babies and moms.

Bella was a dream-baby as usual. She sat quietly on my lap for most of the movie, only fussing when she was trying to fall asleep in my arms, something she's not used to doing anymore. Most moms bring their car seats in so the babes can sit and snooze in the seat beside them. Dings and I were newbies so didn't think of that until it was too late, but I must admit, I liked having my girl in my lap for a full two hours. It's very rare that we get to do that anymore.

It was so very fitting that Bella's first big-screen movie was Mama Mia, for obvious reasons if you know me, but also for a few others. First of all, the brightly coloured and musical cheesy goodness of the flick was perfect for babies. And what made it even better? It was the Sing Along edition. UM? SO FUN. You see, I would have sang along anyway, but this way I could do it without giving the people around me the chance to get pissed off! I've seen the stage production of Mama Mia (LOSER ALERT) three times and always found it impossible to keep my mouth shut, so this time I sang my little heart out. Sure, Dings and I were the only people in the theatre that were actually singing, but at least we were doing it in harmony and under the guise of "singing to keep the babies engaged." Heh.

I expected to enjoy the movie, I mean really. ABBA, Merryl, Greece? What's not to love? But what I didn't expect was (LOSER ALERT) the minor break down I had during the part where Merryl sings the song "Slipping Through My Fingers." Full disclosure? FULL ON MELTDOWN. I'm talking neck tears, mascara running down my face, choking back sobs and using Bella's blanket to blow my nose. Thank GOD Dings was crying too because if she wasn't I would probably have had her drive me straight from the theatre to the mental asylum. What has happened to me?! I swear to you, during the (LOSER ALERT) THREE TIMES that I have seen the musical before I have never even NOTICED this song. Now it's sending me into hysterics? Really?

Here are the lyrics that sent me over the edge. I think next week we'll go and see a slasher flick or a political drama, anything other than a mother-daughter coming of age story.

Schoolbag in hand
She leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye
With an absent-minded smile
I watch her go
With a surge of that well-known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm loosing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sleep in our eyes
Her and me at the breakfast table
Barely awake
I let precious time go by
Then when she's gone
There's that odd melancholy feeling
And a sense of guilt
I can't deny
What happened to the wonderful adventures
The places I had planned for us to go
Well some of that we did
But most we didn't
And why I just don't know

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture
And save it from the funny tricks of time
Slipping through my fingers -

Schoolbag in hand
She leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile

Happy Birthday to You: 7 Months Old

Dear Bella,

You are SEVEN! months old. I think that in honour of this latest milestone, I will approach this letter with the same enthusiasm that you use for each new discovery, each new sound, sight and taste. Each new friend, experience, butterfly and raindrop that comes your way. This month you have truly come to life and you are HAPPY! TO! BE! HERE!

HAIR! It was inevitable, Kid, given that both your father and I are Sasquatches adorned amply with what your dad likes to refer to as "the Devil's curl." Still, the fact that this month your own hair has finally started to really grow in leaves me feeling relieved. It's so pretty, Bella. So soft and fine, not quite as light as mine and not quite as dark as Dads but just a perfect blend that's all your own. To stroke it is heaven. Please don't ever dye it purple.

EYES! The jury is still out on what colour they will be but they definitely have changed a lot since you were born. They are not quite blue, not quite green, not quite gray and not brown. Confused? Me too. I'll tell you this much though, they are amazing. You will break a lot of hearts with those eyes. Remember, one day, to thank your daddy for those lashes.


FOOD! The feeding frenzy continued this month. You have a voracious appetite and it remains a great pleasure to introduce new flavours to your world. You are now eating three full meals a day, and have enjoyed many fruits and veggies including: apples, pears, peaches, bananas, prunes, apricots, avocado, carrots, peas, broccoli, sweet potato, butternut squash, cauliflower, potato, zucchini and an infinite number of combinations of the above. Soon we'll start to try some proteins like cheese and yogurt and (gulp) meat. I'm afraid of meat since, though not a vegetarian, it does seriously gross me out to see it raw, cook it myself and GOD FORBID puree it. We might use jars for this one. Don't judge me.

BEACH! My greatest pleasure this month, by far, has been introducing you to the beach that I love most in the world. We've walked on it many times this summer, but this month we actually got to hang out on it together, basking in the sun, enjoying the sound of the waves lapping the shore, swimming together in the lake and running the soft sand through our fingers and toes. It's no mistake that this memoire has "Beaches" in it's title. And it's not just because that's the name of the part of the city where I grew up. The beach is my favourite place on earth, it's my serenity, my paradise, my religion. I am never happier that when I am relaxing near the ocean or the lake and I have visited beaches in close to 15 countries all over the world. I can't wait to travel with you to many more, but until then I'm happy that you have been able to enjoy this very special place with me. This has been a magical summer, Anabella. There's a lump in my throat to see it come to an end already, it will probably be many years before we can have such a long and luxurious summer together again, but I want you to know that I will always remember it as the best time of my life.



VELCRO? Baby things are heavily adorned in Velcro. It's just an easy and safe way to attach things and makes putting things together quick and simple for busy parents who are doing most activities with one hand. Here's the thing, though. You HATE it. When I tear apart the two sides that make up this Velcro seal anywhere near you it's as if I am ripping the ear right off of your head. Has anyone ever tried to quietly rip apart Velcro? It's not possible. In a strange twist, once the Velcro has been torn apart, you are ever so eager to suck on it. Give you the rough side of a piece of Velcro to chew on and you're happy for hours. Weird.

SQUEALING! This month you have learned how to communicate with various forms of sea life. Orcas, dolphins, what have you. I'm surprised that Flipper, Shamu, Nemo and the gang haven't shown up on our doorstep yet, but when they do? At least you'll be able to engage them in some fascinating conversation.

POOP! You now poop solid turds like an adult. It's gross. Also, it doesn't happen everyday which upsets me even though I know it's perfectly normal. I find myself sniffing your butt like 10 times a day hoping for that familiar, and quite unpleasant, smell and actually feeling bitter disappointment when you smell pretty and fresh. This is how far I have fallen. I'm literally one turd away from wearing mom-jeans and joining the PTA.

DADA! You still say "Dada" five million times a day and have only said "Mama" twice. Both times by complete accident and it was probably more like "Baba" with a silent "b".

TEETH! Last but not least, the most exciting development this month, and it actually happened just days after you turned seven months but I can't wait until next month to spread the word. You have teeth! Two of them, on the bottom, they came through on the same day and they are sooo cute. You have yet to bite my nipple off with them and for that I thank you.

I also thank you for giving me the most incredible seven months. I'm so in love, I'm so in awe, I'm so lucky to have you in my life. You are amazing. I love you.


Mommy

Oh Father

Despite my greatest efforts, it is all she will say.

I stare at her intently and loudly and clearly say, "Mommy," and get nothing. I try, "Ma Ma," still nothing. Next I say, "MA! MA!" Blank stare. Last ditch effort, "MMmmmm." She stops what she is doing, looks at me as if to say, "You are an idiot, Woman," and then says proudly, "Dadda, Da, Dadda, Ahhh, Dadda!"

It's starting to get annoying. This kid is sooo lucky she's cute.