Happy Birthday To You: Everley Edition: 1 Month Old

Dear Everley,

On October 21 you turned one month old. I know it's already been two weeks since then and we're fast approaching two months but FAST is the operative word here. 

Looking like fish bait.

FAST.

I figure I'd better whip this post out before it's time for the next one, but I do realize that I still have not finished your birth story. It's in progress but it's incredibly hard to find time. I know that anyone who is not home with an infant all day thinks that sounds ridiculous but it really is so difficult to accomplish anything. I never had this much trouble when I was home with Bella, but then again, I didn't have a four year old Bella when I was home with Bella. I also didn't have a three story house to care for. Those two things combined take up every spare second that I have when I'm not busy caring for you.

And you require a LOT of care! Wow. I forgot how grueling it is to nurse a baby. Don't get me wrong, I love it just as much as I did with your sister. You're a wonderful baby to nurse and have been making it as easy as it can be. You have already gained at least three pounds, maybe more, I'm not sure because you were doing so well at your two week well-baby appointment that your doctor told me not to bring you back until two months. Way to go Chubs. 

At one month old you have grown into a very beautiful baby. You've already lost a lot of that 'old man' look you had when you were born thanks to the rapid weight gain. Your eyelashes are in and they are long and black and beautiful like your sisters - lucky girls. You can thank your handsome dad for that. Your gorgeous head of dark brown hair (again, thank Dad) has not fallen out yet. We're all routing for you to you keep it but it's starting to show some signs of thinning out so you may be on the road to baby-baldness yet.

Your eyes are a dark greyish blue for the moment and they are tracking things and focusing really well already. My favourite moments with you right now are when you lock those piercing eyes with my own and we just stare at each other for a while. We are talking to each other through those stares, and I hear you loud and clear little sister. I don't take a second of those precious, private moments for granted. If this first month is any indication, I'm all too aware of how quickly they will be gone.

New baby, new chair for our monthly photos.

Most of our staring contests happen in the middle of the night. You tend to sleep on and off all day in shortish spurts with a big nap in the afternoon and your most active awake period is from around 7pm until 12:30/1:00am. Then you tend to wake up every two or three hours to eat. That's tough on me, I won't lie, but we're dealing with it. When you turned two weeks old you and I moved upstairs to the guest room and we've been hunkering down up there ever since. It's working a lot better for everyone for the time being because it means you can sleep and nurse in bed with me without waking your dad.

Though I love my snuggle time up there with you, I must admit it can get a little lonely. It's okay though, I can already see your sleep habits starting to change and I know that this time is finite and fleeting. Before we know it I'll be back in my bed and you'll be in yours and then there will be many nights for the rest of my life where I ache to have you back, snuggled in safely beside me, making your precious little squeaks and coos and breathing your sweet milky breath in my face while we sleep nose to nose. 

Oh sorry, am I boring you?

Some other things about you in your first month:

• you love to be held and hate to be put down, I repeat HATE TO BE PUT DOWN ALL CAPS
•  you are pretty much in my arms or sleeping by my side all day every day and when I need to get things done, you go in your carrier or your wrap, I can probably count on my fingers and toes the number of hours you have not been in the room with me since the minute you were born - the incredible significance and intensity of this bond we share is not lost on me this time around
• you love your car seat, car rides and walks in the stroller and during these times you will tolerate being on your own
• you certainly know how to make yourself heard - your cry is fierce and screamy but you really only use it when you want to eat or have to poop and you are easily soothed in either instance
• you have a fussy period between 7pm and midnight when you are trying to settle in for the night, this is the hardest time for me because my clock still tells me it's time for bed and the rest of the family is going to sleep. There have been many tears this month for both of us at this time of day, but I think we're both almost at the point where we can accept that this is part of the "schedule" for now
• oh yeah, you don't have a schedule
• though I'm trying to force it on you, you are not fond of the soother and would prefer to comfort nurse, for God's sake TAKE THE SOOTHER CHILD
• you are a little barfer and spit up at least once with every feed, sometimes randomly in between, but not nearly as bad as your sister and for this I am grateful
• all in all you are an easy baby so far and I'm not just saying that to butter you up

As for me? One month in and there's only one thing that I can say that I've absolutely learned about parenting a second child. No matter how many children you have, you will always feel like a first time parent. Because every baby is completely different. Circumstances are different. Relationships around you are different. There are many things that I learned from raising your sister so far, and several of them have made the experience with you easier, but that certainly doesn't mean that it's easy. But I don't care. I don't need it to be easy because it is what it is and what it is is spectacular.

I would not trade the privilege of falling in love with you for all the eight hour sleeps in the world. I will stare into your eyes all night long for as long as you need me to. I'm yours little Everley, I'm all the way yours.

Totally over this photo sesh. Over it.

I love you,

Mommy