Friday, May 05, 2006

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Now, ya’ll gotta know I love Cyndi, and Lord knows how I loved this song when it came out in 1983. But, I was eight. It was true then -- eight year old girls did just want to have fun in 1983.

But now? Sorry Cyndi, but I have to disagree. These days girls may want to have some fun, yes, but not just fun. These days girls of all ages, want to have a whole lot of things that are preventing them from having much fun at all.

They want to have skinny thighs.
They want to have designer jeans.
They want to have perky boobs.
They want to have the “it” bag.
They want to have perfect hair.
They want to have boyfriends.
They want to have flawless skin.
They want to have sex.
They want to have a BFF.
They want to have protection.
They want to have no more cellulite.
They want to have great careers.
They want to have smarts.
They want to have muscles, but not too many muscles.
They want to have respect.
They want to have popularity.
They want to have celebrity status.
They want to have diamonds.
They want to have freedom.
They want to have cars.
They want to have husbands.
They want to have long legs.
They want to have equality.
They want to have plastic surgery.
They want to have clean closets.
They want to have clean floors.
They want to have a clean slate.
They want to have babies.
They want to have perfect bodies after having babies.
They want to have their MTV.
They want to have well-adjusted families.
They want to have time for themselves.
They want to have a voice.
They want to have role models, but they don’t have much choice these days, do they?

The messages for girls are invasive, all encompassing and everywhere. They tell us, from an increasingly young age, that we should not only want all these things, but that if we don’t have them, we are not good enough, that we are failing at simply being girls and women.

We should be working harder, we should be reading more, we should smile a lot, we should buy expensive skin cream, and we should wear very high heels. We should run, but not too much because we’ll get thin, but bulky. We should take pilates and yoga, to balance that out. We should be nice to boys and skeptical of girls. We should cook and clean and work and raise the kids and stay in shape and look after our parents and look after our skin and blow our hair straight every day. Then, after all these things, we should have fun, damn it. Because isn’t that just what girl’s want?

It’s time to end the cycle of manipulation and self-deprivation that is infiltrating our little girls and creating damaged teenagers and scarred women. Perhaps we can’t bring down the media machine that perpetuates these damaging messages for their own profit and gain. But we can put a stop to it in our own homes and in our own minds. The cycle can stop with you. No more out loud comments about how fat you look. Your children are listening. Every time a negative, self-depreciating comments wants to come out of your mouth, I challenge you to say something positive about yourself instead. Your children are listening to that, too.

Eight-year-old girls should just want to have fun. That is what will allow them to reach eighty years with a strong sense of self-worth, self-value and inner strength. Let’s help them get there.

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