Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Love Like This

Dear Momo,

I still remember the day that I brought you home. It was, in fact, five years ago this past weekend. A beautiful sunny day in September, already a special month for me, made so much more so by your arrival.

You weighed only 2 tiny pounds that day, and could curl up quite easily in the palm of Daddy's hand, but already your personality was enormous. Much too big for such a little guy - bright and feisty and full, full, full of love.

You took us on as your new parents, as instant replacements for your own look-a-like, four-legged mommy, with an open and trusting little heart. That day, on our ride back to your new home, I promised you that we would love you and care for you and protect you always. All I ever wanted in return was the chance to smell your dirty dog smell and see you wag your tightly curled tail at me with love each time we crossed each other's path. I had no idea on that sunny day that you would give me those things and so much more.

We have had many trials as a family since you came into our home and changed our lives forever. Your kind is a fickle breed, more demanding than most, and your Daddy and I have been scared for your health and safety more than once.

There was the day you had surgery to remove a little bump from your chin, one that the doctor told us might be cancer. It wasn't. They took it off on your first birthday and Mommy stayed home and cried until I had you back safely in my arms. You pulled through.

One scary winter night, something happened in your tiny brain and a seizure sent us racing to the emergency room - you wrapped up in a towel, Mommy in her PJs and winter boots. They kept you that night and Daddy and I both cried when we had to leave you behind, unsure if you'd get better over night. This time the doctors told us the worst case scenario, "It could be encephalitis, " they said, "it's incurable." Once again you proved them wrong. We had you home the next day and we've never had another seizure since.

This weekend, my sweet boy, you decided to test the strength of our little family once again. Getting your squished little pug-nose in a place it didn't belong. And this time we almost didn't bring you home. This time when the doctor told me you might not survive the night, I believed her because I had held your tiny body in my arms as we rushed you toward help and I felt you slipping away. I felt it in my heart sweet Moet. And for what must have been the first time in my life, I felt my heart truly break.

Perhaps this is your own stubborn way of reminding Dad and I that you are our first baby? That although we are working toward bringing a new tiny member into our perfect circle, we are only making it a little bigger but no more round. And you are right Lil'Boss, you are first, you are loved, and I can not go into this next phase without you.

Because what you don't know is that what you brought into our lives that sunny day in September, just five short years ago, is something that can not be replaced or replicated by anything or anyone. You brought an indestructible sense of humour. Moet, you are so funny. There is nothing on this earth that can bring a smile to my face faster than you can. Even when you are being naughty we can't help but laugh with you. Sweet Momo, you may not know it, but you have been the light of our lives and taught us about real love. Because your brand is pure and unconditional, we had to learn that kind of love too. Even when you are frustrated or sad or sick, you give love. It's all that we can do to try, with all of our hearts, to give it back to you in full.

This next few days is up to you my little Moet. You have already beaten the odds. We thought we'd wake up Monday to news that you had left us, and instead we were all given a gift. A gift of one more day, and now another after that. I can't bring you home with me just yet, but Moet, I will do anything and everything in my power to get you back here with us as soon as possible. Back where you belong. Firmly routed in the center of our happy home. But you also need to know, that no matter what happens, you'll always, always remain in the center of our hearts.

I love you sweet Momo, more than you can know.


1 comment:

lashwish said...

Im so sorry to read about your baby boy. What happened? I hope everything is OK.

I came across your blog looking for post on preggo jeans, only to discover, your pug baby.

I have 2 pug boys of my own & am also preggo.

Hope your baby is safe & home soon.