Phewf. I'm back. And when I say that, I mean really, I'm back. Because I have been gone for quite some time... not just from this blog... but from this planet. I've been in a place that can only be described as it's been accurately and eloquently coined by the one and only Scarbiedoll... the FIRST HELLMESTER.
As of today I am 15 weeks with child. Sounds so pretty when you say it like that doesn't it? With child. Awww... so loving and fuzzy and miraculous. As of about two weeks ago I'm able to see it clearly as such. Before two weeks ago I was with parasite.
Listen, I don't want to be a whiny bitch right off the bat. So let's start with the truly amazing and beautiful things that happened during our first trimester.
a) We survived it. All three of us. In a time that is full of worry about whether or not this little energy sucking zygote is serious about moving in for the next 9 months, getting through the first three together is an amazing and relieving experience.
b) Ultrasounds #2 and 3. I skipped over ultrasound #1 intentionally here, because we're talking about the FUN stuff, remember? More on that in just a jiff... Ultrasound #2 was amazing because at 7 weeks and 4 days I was able to see the little jumping bean inside of me and witness the flashing and fluttering of it's tiny little heart. Ultrasound #3 at 12 weeks and 2 days was mind blowing. Crown was with me when together we met our little chicken for the first time. This thing was a baby! A baby! In there? Moving and kicking and somersaulting. Incredible. There really aren't words enough, but for me it was instant love.
c) Sharing the news. My hands down, absolute favourite part of pregnancy so far. Telling family and friends this news has made every minute of my discomfort worthwhile. This will be the first grandchild for both of our families. Of course, everyone is very excited and the look on people's faces and reactions that ranged from jaw dropping disbelief to squealing and jumping up and down for joy gave me strength to get through the worst moments. It makes you realize that a pregnancy is not about you. It's about adding to an entire family, social network, village and beyond.
Enough warm fuzzies to convince ya'll that I'm truly happy about this amazing creature growing inside of me? Good. Now here's the reality of the first hellmester in concise and honest points:
1) Ultrasound #1. I had it at just over 5 weeks. When you are so early in a pregnancy you have to drink a shit load of water and hold your pee for an HOUR prior to an abdominal ultrasound. Then you go for your ultrasound, ready to DIE from having to pee so bad and the technician presses on your bladder with a fucking baseball bat (or so it seems) for approximately half and hour. The alternative is the magic wand that goes up the you-know-whatsit. Trust me when I say that, as unpleasant as it may sound, the magic wand is waaaaay more preferable. I actually requested it for ultrasound #2 just so I didn't have to suffer the pee pee torture.
2) Vomit and lots of it. That's right, I was a puker. I puked more in three months than I have in my entire life ever and that includes from drinking even. Swear.
3) Food aversions. They are real and I had every one of them. The truly twisted thing about food aversions? Sometimes you don't know you are averted to it until AFTER you have already tried to eat it. IE/the time I thought it was okay to eat quiche and broccoli for lunch at work and ended up projectile vomiting all over the shared washroom facilities. Can you say life long nightmare come true?
4) Giant breasts and not in a good way. 15 weeks in and I've already outgrown TWO sets of bras. The cruelest part? These fuckers were so sore for three months that Crown and I couldn't even enjoy their new found enormity. Boo.
5) Everything smelled like ass. No really. Pretty much everything. Flowers smelled like ass, coffee smelled like ass, public transportation smelled like ass, cabs smelled even more like ass... and don't even get me started on what ass smelled like.
6) Too tired to even be tired. I'm a naturally sleepy person. I looooooove to sleep. My mom claims that I didn't sleep through the night until I was four years old (here's hoping that gene is recessive) and I've been making up for it ever since. But you know what? I didn't even know what tired WAS until this happened to me. Like sometimes? I would lie on the couch and want to cry simply from being so tired, but I was just too damn tired.
7) You get fat. Peeps? Did you know about this? When you get pregnant? You get fat. No, seriously, I know you're as shocked as I am but it's true. That shit you hear about, "Oh she was all belly." Yeah, fucking bullshit. Fat happens everywhere. My ass is pregnant, by thighs are pregnant, and my boobs? Well, let's just say they are having twins.
There is more that could be bitched about but I'm in such good spirits at having left those weeks behind me that I'll leave it there. I'm just so happy to be back. To be healthy. To be carrying the most amazing little parasite around with me. As of last week, the chicken is dying to be noticed. My belly has popped right on out and no amount of sucking it in can make it disappear. Below is the belly at 14 weeks. I'm shocked at the difference already this week and will post the 15 week shot asap.
I hope you'll join us on this journey. It's sure to be one hell of a ride.