Monday, January 28, 2008

I've Been Waiting For a Girl Like You, To Come in to My Life

Dear Baby,

I know it's customary for preggie bloggers to write letters to their baby's throughout their pregnancy, sharing thoughts and feelings as their little miracles grow. I've thought about doing it a few times here and there and always stopped short, maybe because a) you totally can't read at all or b) I'm pretty lazy and usually just prefer to watch Oprah. Welcome to your soon-to-be-life.

Today; however, I'm feeling a little different about it. Probably because I got some news from the Doctor that indicates that there's a pretty good chance you might flying in on your stork sooner than I was anticipating. You are taking the stork, right? I'm reeeaaally banking on this stork-theory right about now.

Before I start, I just want to you know how absolutely incredible it has been to have you grow inside me. I know that there have been times that I've moaned and groaned, but listen, it sure isn't easy to bake a person. For the most part though, it's been pretty cool. I'm going to miss having you in there little chicken. In there you are warm and safe and protected. Once you make your grand entrance, your dad and I will do everything in our power to keep it that way, but face it Kiddo, it's a big scary world. Sometimes I might get shampoo in your eye or let you accidentally roll off the couch onto the hardwood. Shit happens. You might as well learn that right now.

I digress. What I want to do is get down a few thoughts about you and about being your mom before you show up and all hell breaks loose. I think there's a good chance that I won't have time to do it after that, so here it goes:

1. You are already an incredibly privileged baby. This won't mean anything to you for a while, but I want you to know it right out of the gate. You have so much stuff! You have a warm, safe home and your own room with all the fixin's. You have clothes and toys and books and things that I don't even know how to use yet! It's true that your dad and I work very hard for all these things, but it's more than that. Most people in this world will never have the opportunities that you are going to have just because of where you are being born, the colour of your skin, and the advantages that your dad and I were lucky enough to be given in our life thus far. Please don't ever, ever, take these things for granted. Please appreciate every thing you have and more importantly, please recognize that while fun, they are just things. There are so many more important things in life.

2. Speaking of more important things, you are loved beyond your wildest dreams. You are not only already loved my me and by your dad, but by three, THREE, sets of grandparents and a great-grandnana. You have an aunt and an uncle, plus two step-aunts and two step-uncles. You even have a brand-new cousin set to make an appearance right on your heels. Don't even get me started on all the aunties and unkies you have that are not related by blood. So many, baby girl. SO many people and so much love that my own heart swells to the point of explosion with it all -- it is my greatest desire for you to not only know what it means to be so loved, but to really understand the significance of it. So many people will never know love the way that you will. Soak it up, and give it back at every chance you get.

3. Not only do you have a mom and dad who love you, you also have a mom and dad who love each other. This is no small thing, little one. These days, in fact, it's almost rare to have two parents who are as crazy about each other as they are about their kids. Having a brand-new baby is very hard on parents but I want you to know that as fiercely as I intend to fight and as deep as my love will go for you, I intend to fight for your dad and I just as fiercely and to love him just as deeply. After all, without us, there would be no you. You are a product of everything that I love about my life with your dad. You are, in fact, the physical manifestation of that love. Your dad and I as two are strong, but with you we'll only be stronger, I promise.

4. You have a furry big brother who is going to take some time before he adjusts to sharing his privileged life with you. Please bare with him and his scratching and barking. I will not let him eat you and one day you two will be the best of friends.

5. Last of all for now, but certainly not least of all, I just want you to know this - life goes by incredibly fast. I can hardly believe that I'm a 32-year-old married, pregnant woman, sitting in my own house and writing a letter to my own child. I. Can't. Believe. It. I could swear that not a few days ago I was still waiting to meet your dad. I knew that it would happen "when I grew up" but that still seemed like a long way off. And it couldn't have been more than a year back that I was heading off to university? Leaving behind the only home I'd known 'til then and crying as my mom drove away and left me standing there, full of possibility and just barely ready to take on the unknown. I vividly remember my own childhood, as if it was just a few years back instead of a couple of decades.

My point little chicken is this -- enjoy each day. Love being a baby and love being a toddler and so on and so forth. Don't be in a rush to grow up like so many little girls are today. It is going to happen so much faster than you can imagine. And when it does, it's so much harder than you think it will be. Childhood is a gift. And if you live it the way that I hope you will, a little piece of it will stay with you forever.

There's so much more for me to tell you. There are so many things I want to share. But, my sweet little baby, Oprah is on. Priorities, you know?

I love you so much and I can't wait to hold your hand and smell your head.


PS - Baby, if you end up being a boy, it's okay. We have a name chosen, your room is blue, and you are going to look so handsome in all your pretty dresses. XO.


TransientTales said...

Oh my, reading this just put me over the edge. Tears Dax, big fat tears rolling down my face. Baby Girl is so lucky to have a Mommy like you and I promise when she's mean to you at around the age of 16 I'll take her aside and have a little Dings one-on-one with her. Oh I can not wait to meet you little chicken!!!!!

StarChar said...

Ok, this almost made me cry! Love it!